中国东北大学北美校友会

Six Essential Steps to Having Your Business Achieve Its Goals

EverGreen — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:43:00 GMT

It has become stale at this point to discuss goals and achieving goals. Everyone knows what it takes to set and achieve goals, and there is no shortage of acronyms (e.g. GOALPOST) to help managers remember that goals are time bound, measurable, significant, etc. This begs the question of why - if everyone knows how to set and keep goals - so many businesses fail to achieve their objectives. Goal setting is sort of like New Year's resolutions: easy to make, hard to achieve.

A business coach and advisor can help ensure that you and your leadership team set appropriately aggressive goals and achieve them. There are six steps to the process:

First, set the right goals, based on a strategic plan that sets the most important priorities for the business to succeed and be dominant in its marketplace. Goals follow from a solid, elegant strategy for success.

Second, launch a plan to achieve the goals. It is not enough to set goals in a vacuum and expect them to somehow be reached. The business needs to develop a clear plan of action, resource needs, roles and responsibilities, organizational structure, and commitment in order to put substance on how goals will be met. The goals need to be broken down into manageable chunks of time and tasks, with specific people responsible. For instance, if a business wants to generate 200 more leads per month, then it needs a plan of action to generate those leads, and that plan of action should break down further into specific action steps by specific people every single day.

Third, create a dashboard of metrics to track goals over time and make mid-course corrections. Every executive should have a dashboard to track where progress is acceptable and where intervention is required.

Fourth, hold specific people accountable for achievement of the goals. Develop a recruitment and retention system to have the right people in the right places in the organization - people that the leadership team trusts to get the job done. The business should constantly recruit for talent, and have a process to develop, reward, and retain top performers in the context of business goals.

Fifth, have a process to track progress and make any necessary corrections.

Finally, know how to have conversations for accountability. It is up to the leadership team to hold everyone in the business accountable for results. The conversations required to hold people accountable vary depending on the situation and performance. Sometimes the manager needs to be directive, sometimes he or she needs to coach, and sometimes he or she needs to provide training and support. There are also explicit conversations required to set (or reset) expectations, acknowledge results, and provide incentives for performance.

Again and again we find managers who wonder why their people aren't accountable for results. In our experience, the issue resides with the manager, not the people. You get what you tolerate in business. If you aren't setting and tracking the right goals and putting in place processes and conversations to manage by goals, you shouldn't point the finger for poor performance at anyone but yourself! The leadership team should agree to meet regularly to track and discuss progress - and bring in other personnel as needed.

Remember of my mom, Xin, from Dan

Jing Gui's Friends — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:49:00 GMT

I will always love my mother…

Today I find myself very frustrated with my lack of eloquence, because despite trying and again, I simply cannot put into words all the things I really want to say. I want to share with all of you her many great qualities, and to capture her essence with my sentences, and for a brief moment bring her back to life with my words.

However as I was drafting what I wanted to say today, after, much brainstorming, and procrastinating, starting, stopping, writing and rewriting, I have concluded perhaps it is simply not possible for me to use mere words to describe all that I want to say about my mother. Given that, I apologize in advance for perhaps not doing her justice with my somewhat simple sounding words.

Initially I wanted enumerate all the wonderful qualities of my mom. I wanted to share her brilliance, her smile, her wisdom, her perpetual neatness, her sense of responsibility, her love of Chinese food, and her good cooking. To be fair I wanted to also list a few of her flaws, because like any human of course she was not perfect. However, despite my many swirling ideas, I could not pin a single one down. Because for me the two things about her that truly fills my heart and mind is how much she loved me and how much she cared about me (and possibly a third thing, how much I will always miss her).

Hence, before I can say anything else, the first and most important and perhaps most obvious thing I have to say is that, I love my mother, and I know that wherever she is she loves me too. And with that I am relieved, because I know no matter what I say, I am confident that my mom would be satisfied.

My mom loved me so much and because of that I guess in retrospect, I regret, in many ways I took my mother for granted. In happy times when things were going well and I was having fun, I would frequently want to hang out with my friends. Sometimes, if I was having a lot of fun, I would forget to call home or stay out quite late. Invariably, on occasions like these, the later it got, the more likely I would start receiving calls from my mom chiding me to go home and to get to bed. I am going to be honest and say, at the time I was almost always annoyed, but even then I knew, even though they annoyed me, those were just another one of the countless ways my mom cared and loved about me. As much as those calls annoyed me, I sometimes think of myself, how much I wish I could get just one more call like that from her.

My mom was one person I could always count on. Whereas when things were going well or smoothly, I usually chose to hang out with my friends. If things were not going well, my mom was always one of the first people I would turn to. If I was sick I knew my mom would do all the little things it took to help me get better. Even if it were very late at night, she would come in time and again to check on me and make sure I was ok. Even as I got to Stanford, frequently if I got ill, I would still tell my mom, because she always knew the little things to do to make me feel immediately better. Though of course, as I started feeling better, I would invariably face a somewhat stern lecture on how I needed to be more responsible and take better care of myself. I guess my mom was a strong believer in tough love.

When things were not going well for me I knew I could always tell her and somehow things would become better. Because I knew that no matter what I did my mom would not love or care about me any less. And for at least one person, no matter how I failed or what happened, I would not be judged. Perhaps, more practically, when I was younger, was younger, if I did badly on a test it was of strategic importance to tell my mom first. Because then she could always pass on the news to my dad first, so my dad would be slightly less angry than if I told him directly.

I suppose if I have a lifetime’s full of anecdotal stories of how much my mom loved me, because just about everything she did for me, be it her scolding or her codling were all acts of her love. This past year since my dad was diagnosed with cancer, has been without doubt and without even close comparison the most difficult time in my life, and perhaps the most difficult time my family has had to endure together. The news of my dad’s illness quite hard, but the news hit my mom much harder. Whereas, when I heard the news, in my heart I thought, no matter what happens my mom will be there to help me through it, my mom was burdened with both losing her partner for life, as well as suddenly having to shoulder all the responsibility for the family. While dealing with the possible loss of my father, my mom also wanted to protect me, and initially hid the news from me, and also tried to not to have me worry too much. In those darkest few days, both of my parents agreed to insist that I continue going to Stanford as so I would not be distracted and so I could continue my studies.

My father’s illness was something my mom had great trouble dealing with, because perhaps this was a time, when one of my mom’s greatest strengths was turned against her. Her love for my father, and well as her love for me, made the whole situation simply unbearable for her. The prospect of losing my father made it such that she could not picture what happiness her future could bring. Between sadness, stress, and anxiety my mom sank into depression.

My mom’s depression was very difficult for me to deal with because it changed her completely. There were times when she would say things that I simply could not understand, and believe things that puzzled me how she could believe. There were times I was so frustrated because I felt at a time I needed her more than ever, she was not there to help me. I think I grew up a lot when I realized I could not count on my mom forever. Over the course of this year I had slowly tried to shoulder more of the responsibility of the family, though regrettably I think I’ve done somewhat of a poor job.

There are times when I regret and when I say what if, and I wonder if I were stronger, if I was more mature sooner, and if I had not relied and counted on my mom so much, and taken her for granted if everything would have turned out different. At these moments my thoughts start spinning really quickly, and I get very agitated, but before long one thought always settles and calms me down.

Through it all my mother loved me, she loved me very much, and I know she will always forgive me and not blame me. Wherever, she is now, I am confident that she would not want me to feel overly sad and distracted from school and my life and future. Because I know no matter what she would want me to be happy and to be strong.

Earlier, I said my mom changed completely, I think I need to clarify myself. Despite her many changes in attitude and personality, the one thing that never changed was how much she cared about me. Through it all, although she was limited by her abilities still tried her best to care for me. Whereas she had troubling cooking for herself when she was by herself, if I went home, she would always try her best to at least cook something to make sure I had something to eat. She would frequently lament and apologize how she couldn’t do something for me that she wanted to do, and how she wished she could help me more. I called her every night, and just about every night she would remind me to eat breakfast, get lots of sleep, do not stress too much, drink lots of water, and get a physical (she wanted to make sure I was healthy).

Despite having trouble taking care of herself and indeed sometimes lacking the desire to take care of herself, she never stopped trying to take care of me. No matter what happened to her, she always cared about me.

There are a lot of things my mom did that as of today I cannot necessarily say I understand. There are a lot of details that I have trouble recalling, and I have a lot of memories of her that I have difficulty revisiting because it is still too painful for me. However, what I can say is, today, to me there is only one important thing for me to know and for me to remember. And that is what I said at the very beginning. My mom always loved and cared about me, and I will always love my mother.

SpeechMom.doc

Liu Xin's Life Story

Jing Gui's Friends — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:45:00 GMT

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Format: wmv
Duration: 07:30

Principles from How to Stop Worring and Start Living

EverGreen — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:25:00 GMT

Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry

1. Live in “day tight compartments.”
2. How to face trouble:

a. Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
b. Prepare to accept the worst.
c. Try to improve on the worst.

3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.

Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry

1. Get all the facts.
2. Weigh all the facts — then come to a decision.
3. Once a decision is reached, act!
4. Write out and answer the following questions:

a. What is the problem?
b. What are the causes of the problem?
c. What are the possible solutions?
d. What is the best possible solution?

Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You

1. Keep busy.
2. Don’t fuss about trifles.
3. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
4. Cooperate with the inevitable.
5. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
6. Don’t worry about the past.

Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring You Peace and Happiness

1. Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.
2. Never try to get even with your enemies.
3. Expect ingratitude.
4. Count your blessings — not your troubles.
5. Do not imitate others.
6. Try to profit from your losses.
7. Create happiness for others.

The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry

1. Pray.

Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High

1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work.
3. Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.
4. Apply these four good working habits:

a) Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
b) Do things in the order of their importance.
c) When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.
d) Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.

5. Put enthusiasm into your work.
6. Don’t worry about insomnia.

Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People

EverGreen — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:12:00 GMT

Become a Friendlier Person

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader

22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

爱妻刘新生平

Jing Gui's Friends — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:19:00 GMT

1957年11月11日，一位漂亮的女孩降生在山东济南一对年轻大学教师的家庭。作为头生子女，她给这对年轻的教师带来了巨大的欢乐。刘新出生后不久，她的父母便志愿奔赴孔子的老家参加山东曲阜师范大学的创建。在那些动荡的年月里，为了支持子女的抱负，爷爷、奶奶茹苦含辛地拉扯大小孙女。他们任劳任怨，勤俭持家的美德在刘新幼小的心灵里留下了深深的烙印。几年后，小刘新依依不舍地离开了视她为心头之肉的爷爷、奶奶，到曲阜与父母和弟弟团聚。

从进入曲阜师大附小的第一天起，刘新过人的聪敏和才气便开始展露头角。她勤学努力，功课门门优秀，深得老师们的宠爱。就在她刚刚跨进小学三年级门槛的那年，文化大革命风云骤起。学校停课，学业停滞，生命在大革命的漩涡中荒芜流逝。在学工学农的荒诞里，在批林批孔的喧闹中，刘新结束了她的中学生涯，惶惑地面对即将下乡插队的厄运。父母心疼身形娇小，体弱力薄的女儿，决定让身材高大的弟弟下乡，女儿留城。阴错阳差之中，刘新进入了设备简陋的曲阜地毯厂，成了这个手工作坊式的小企业的一位织毯女工。

文革结束后，刘新参加了1977年文革后的第一次高考，以优异的成绩考入了东北大学物理系。像所有被十年文革耽误的年轻学子一样，刘新对生命中这迟来的宝贵机会极为珍惜，在枯燥晦涩的方程式中注入了她的全部热情。1981年，刘新取得了物理学学士学位后，一面留校工作，一面继续攻读硕士学位。

1984年夏天，刘新和我在恋爱三年多后结婚。婚后一年，我赴美求学。1986年，刘新取得了物理学硕士学位后，来到了美丽的旧金山湾区与我团聚。1988年初，她生下了弈儿，在伯克利大学村里，我们一起度过了快乐美好的时光。儿子进入托儿所后，刘新又重拾学业，到加州州大旧金山分校攻读计算机科学。在取得了她人生中的第二个硕士学位之后，刘新进入了一家应用软件公司，从事软件研发工作。

2004年初夏，在美国的网络经济泡沫的破灭之后所出现的大退潮中，刘新被公司裁员的风潮卷起。一生追求完美的她难以接受被“抛弃”之痛，情绪陷入低潮。在短暂的挣扎和彷徨之后，她终于又重新找回了自我，继续在接受新的挑战中开发新的人生价值。一生与数字符号打交道的她，突然对画画产生了浓厚的兴趣。她从网上购书，自学素描，经过一年多练习，竟然就画得有板有眼。仅凭一年的自学便达到一定的境界，她在美术上的天赋是显而易见的。

2007年4月底，我被诊断出晚期癌症。这个令人难以承受的不幸事实对深爱着我的刘新无异于塌天大祸。在这促不及防的打击下，她患了严重的忧郁症。在这种可怕的心理疾病的折磨下，她万分痛苦地挣扎了一年，终于没有摆脱疾病的控制，于2008年5月10日被忧郁症夺去了生命。

作为一位典型的传统中国知识女性，刘新聪明好胜，外柔内轫，知书达理，内外兼修。她虽在性格上较为内殓，不善交际，但心地善良，为人忠厚，平生做事为人问心无愧。最令我宽慰的是在2007年的母亲节，刘新认识到了人的渺小和主耶稣的大爱，决志信主，成为了主内的姐妹。今天，凭着对主耶稣的信心，我知道她已在天国里得到永久的平安。

桂靖

LiuXin.doc

How to write your blog using Microsoft 2007

EverGreen — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:28:00 GMT

Step 1: Select Publish to Blog

Step 2: Select Community Server as Blog Provider

Step 3: Enter the URL path to the megablog.ashx file as show in above picture. Also, enter the credentials that you use to login to your blog account:

Step 4: Click picture options, Choose "My own server" and enter the information as displayed in prevouis picture. Change yourname to your real login name on the Blogs server.

Step 5: A new window will appear where you can enter your content to post to your blog.

Congratulations, you are now blogging in Microsoft Words 2007.

Avoiding the Tyranny of the Urgent

EverGreen — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:32:00 GMT

Review your daily tasks and group them into the following quadrants:

If you spent more time in quadrant 2, wouldn't you be able to produce some true, long-term results for your sales organization?

You need to commit to establishing priorities and enhancing productivity. Specify activities you will stop doing to increase your productivity and actions you will take to gain better results. Have a clear vision of your expected results.

How to Prioritize

Prepare a to-do list.
Include quadrant 2 activities.
Arrange the list in order of importance to you, both personally and professionally. Take into consideration how certain items on your list might affect others (for example, someone might need something from you in order to do his or her job. If so, you can't neglect that responsibility).
Develop deadlines for each item. Create deadlines for quadrant 2 activities.
Examine the consequences for failing to accomplish a certain task by the deadline.
Identify the rewards of completing the task on time.

Achieving Customer Commitment

EverGreen — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:30:00 GMT

When customers procrastinate their purchase decisions, even after you have successfully resolved all objections, use a Value Summary to restate the value of your solution, create a sense of urgency, and overcome delayed decisions.

Building a Value Summary

Remind yourself of what your buyers want (primary interest) and why they want it (dominant buying motive), then do these three things:

Remind your buyers that they are currently missing out on the benefit your solution can provide and get their agreement. Describe how your solution appeals to their dominant buying motive.
Remind your buyers that your solution will satisfy that need.
Paint a "word picture" of your buyers using your solution, enjoying it, and benefiting from it.

Guidelines for Value Summaries

Be clear and concise
Describe in the present tense
Link your solution directly to the buyer's dominant buying motive
Be believable and realistic
Show examples of the buyer benefiting from your solution
Appeal to the buyer's senses - sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell

Asking for Commitment

After you have presented your Value Summary, be ready to ask for a commitment - the "close." Consider the following methods:

Direction Question:

Often the best way to gain a buyer's commitment is to ask for it. Ask a direct question that calls for a decision.

"Are you ready to go ahead with this decision?"

Alternate Choice Method:

Ask the buyer to select one of two options.

"Would you like the K80 with the standard stock, or would you prefer to choose from our specialty line?"

Minor Point Method:

Ask the buyer to make a minor decision that indicates that the larger buying decision has already been made.

"In whose name should this title be drawn?"

Next Step Method:

Assume that the buyer has already committed and look ahead to the next step.

"When would you like for me to schedule the installation?"

Opportunity Method:

Present the buyer with a brief window of opportunity when options are available. This can be an effective method to use with a buyer who is ready to buy, but who is procrastinating the final decision.

"You know that our prices increase on September 1st. I know that you'd want to take advantage of these lower prices now, right?"

Weighing Method:

If the buyer still has second thoughts about making the purchase, show him or her how the return on investment outweighs the cost.

"Let's do what many people do when making a major decision. Let's weigh the ideas causing you to hesitate and the value you'll realize from going ahead."

Cold Call Test

EverGreen — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:28:00 GMT

This True/False test will help clarify some common myths and misperceptions about cold calling. We've based the "correct" responses on research found in books written specifically on cold calling and on our own experience as a global sales training provider.

Keep in mind that some of these questions could have different correct responses in special cases. So be sure to answer from a general sales perspective rather than from the perspective of a unique selling situation.

1. The only goal for any business-to-business cold call should be to schedule an appointment.

TRUE: Salespeople often make the mistake of selling their solutions when cold calling. This is a deadly error. Sell only one thing at a time. If the person is willing to talk now, focus on getting the appointment.

2. Cold calling will generally generate results that are just as good as referrals.

FALSE: Referrals tend to have higher closing ratios for appointments.

3. It is not a high priority to qualify prospects when cold calling. The key is to set up as many appointments as possible.

FALSE: Save time for you and your prospects by ensuring you have qualified leads before taking the time to make and attend an appointment with a prospect.

4. You should leave a message for the buyer when you get voicemail instead of the actual person.

TRUE: Never miss an opportunity to leave a positive impression about you and your company. Also, remember that many people use caller ID. They may be wondering why you called and then failed to leave a message.

5. Most salespeople stop cold calling a prospect after four tries.

TRUE: Unfortunately, most salespeople give up after only four tries.

6. After you've made a certain number of cold calls, it becomes less important to keep records of your results.

FALSE: Most salespeople hate paperwork and keeping records, but it is the only way to find out what is working. And just because something works (or doesn't) this year, that doesn't mean it won't change next year...or next week.

7. Always make friends with the gatekeeper.

FALSE: Good relationships with gatekeepers can be a salesperson's best asset. These individuals can give you a positive look into the customer's organization. So you should always be friendly with the gatekeeper, but you don't need to necessarily befriend the gatekeeper. These individuals may feel that your interest is an intrusion and suspect that you are trying to manipulate them, or they just may never have contact with any decision-makers in the company. Be cautious about feeling that you are making great progress when you could be wasting your time and theirs.

8. If a prospect doesn't want to talk to you, it's probably personal.

FALSE: You have no idea what is going on in a person's world when you cold call. Remember not to take anything personally.

9. Less information is better when leaving a voicemail.

TRUE: Thirty seconds is about as long as you can hold someone's attention with a voice mail.

10. Experienced salespeople are past prospecting and develop all their business from current clients and referrals.

FALSE: Over time, we all lose customers because they go out of business, relocate, change their business, and for a host of other reasons. Experienced salespeople plan for this loss of clientele and continue to look for new prospects.

11. Experienced professionals use scripts when prospecting on the phone.

TRUE: Scripts help us make sure we are using the words with the maximum impact on prospects. Professionals practice them enough so that they don't sound like scripts.

12. Cold calling doesn't have to be a constant activity. Once your business gets going, you should be able to eliminate it.

FALSE: The majority of your business should eventually come from existing clients and referrals, but if you stop cold calling, you are missing potentially valuable business opportunities.

Building Your Networking Skills 8 Quick Tips

EverGreen — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:10:00 GMT

Networking events can seem very intimidating, but they can be a resource that will help propel your career to new heights. It is always important to go into a networking event with enthusiasm and a set goal in mind. Use these ideas to help make your next networking experience a successful one.

Network online - According to recent research by The Institute For Corporate Productivity, 64% of business professionals network online. In today's Web 2.0 environment, you cannot afford to ignore this networking opportunity and potential leads you could generate via social networking sites.
Start with LinkedIn.com, the leading business networking - Membership is free, and you can pro-actively search for and connect with customers and prospects. Also, Linkedin.com users can post questions to the "Answers" section on the site. Make an effort to answer questions relevant to your area of expertise. Not only will you add value to your connections, but you will also get additional exposure and attract prospective customers who will seek you out!
Arrive early - Treat the event like an important appointment. By arriving early, you get comfortable in a more intimate setting with the other early arrivals. It can be intimidating to walk into a room filled with people, so go early and let the room fill up around you.
Show confidence - Speak confidently, decisively, and with authority. If you are confident in your conversations and support your ideas with evidence, people will take notice and respect that you know what you are talking about and that you mean business.
Circulate - Don't just talk to the people that you know. Get out there and go network!
Meet with VIPs or speakers - If there are VIPs or speakers at the event, prepare ahead of time. Do some research on the individual(s) so that you are informed when you talk with them. Compliment them on their speech or talk to them about how the topic of their speech or their field relates to what you do.
Stay late - When you stay late, the smaller crowd also gives you the opportunity to circulate in a more intimate setting. It also provides you with an opportunity to connect with the event's coordinator. Thank him or her for hosting the event. The event coordinator can give you some additional insight about who attended the event and who might be at the next event. It's never too early to prepare for the next event.
Have a robust profile on the networking site - Put in as much relevant information as you can that demonstrates the value you bring to your customers. Put in all the keywords you think prospective customers may use to search for a service provider in your field. Remember, on a social networking site, you want to make it easy for people to find you!

Do you have $25 for your kid?

EverGreen — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:02:00 GMT

Hello Everyone:

I came across this story and it had such an impact on me that I felt it was something worth sharing.

Please take this moment to read the story below; the message it contains is powerful.

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question? '

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: ' Daddy, how much do you make an hour? '

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing? the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier ' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do, ' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you. '

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of who re working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

Gui Jing's Life Story

Jing Gui's Friends — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 08:41:00 GMT

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Remeber Brother Gui from 曲喆

Jing Gui's Friends — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:29:00 GMT

我和桂靖是东北大学物理系的大学同学. 认识他的人都知道他热情好客,非常愿意帮助人.我想在坐的许多人都受过他的帮助. 我们家三口分三次来美国时, 他都到机场接送. 我和肖红来时还都在他家住过一夜.

我来美国前,那时还没有e-mail,曾给他写信寻问应该带什么,他回了一封长信列出该带的和不该带的.我记得洗衣粉和香皂属于不带之列.

来美时,他和刘新开着Datsun 210到机场接我. 上了高速后, 他向我介绍说有些美国高速公路出口很复杂, 不注意就会错过. 错过后要绕一大圈才能回来. 然后他说:"哎呀,你看,我们刚Miss掉我们的出口,要兜一圈了"

在他们家,他们盛情款待我.带我参观伯克利和劳伦斯实验室. 临行前, 桂靖抓了两大把Quarters给我说:"你洗衣服等都得用硬币, 把这些拿着". 他又问我:"你带了多少钱?"我说:"$250". 他告诉我说不够.他说:"你的助学金要过一个月才能拿到.你租房要交押金.交了押金你的钱就没了". 说完就带我去ATM取钱. 本来他要给我多带些,但ATM daily allowance 只能取$200. 到了路州后,这$200给我帮了大忙. 正如他所说, 我带的钱, 交了押金基本就没了.

我毕业后,全家来到加州. 又盟他们的许多次关照.

桂靖也向我们分享过他的信主过程. 在他生病的初期,严重的腹水使他非常疼痛,难以入睡. 他告诉我们那些天他全是靠祷告才坚持下来的.他说:"人的力量实在是太有限了.这个时侯只能靠神:"

在他最后住院的时侯,有一次我去看他,他知道自己在地上的日子不多了.先是道歉说:"又要麻烦大家了".然后他非常平静, 面带笑容的指着天上说:"我知道我要去那里".

今天我们知道桂靖弟兄已平安地回到了天家. 在那里, 正如启示录二十一章四节所说:"神要擦去他们一切的眼泪。不再有死亡, 也不再有悲哀, 哭号, 疼痛, 因为以前的事都过去了."

ForBrotherGui.doc

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唁电 from 东北大学理学院

Jing Gui's Friends — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:24:00 GMT

唁电

桂靖学友的亲属及治丧工作组：

惊闻桂靖学友因病医治无效、不幸逝世，中国东北大学理学院师生十分悲痛！我们仅代表理学院及材料物理与化学研究所全体师生，向桂靖学友的亲属表示沉痛哀悼。

桂靖学友1981年本科毕业于我院金属物理专业，同年考取赖祖涵教授的研究生，于1984年获得硕士学位。1985年赴加州大学伯克莱分校攻读博士学位。在本科和研究生期间，他多年担任班长，学业优秀，是我院最杰出的毕业生之一。

桂靖学友不幸逝世，我们失去了一位老同学、老朋友及立志献身科学的海外赤子。我们深深痛惜英才早逝！

仅祭此文寄托哀思，并对桂靖学友亲属表示诚挚慰问！

桂靖学友千古！

东北大学理学院院长：王建华

材料物理与化学研究所所长：祁阳

2009年1月9日于中国沈阳

ForjingFromNEU1.doc

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Remember of Jing from NEU Alumni

Jing Gui's Friends — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:19:00 GMT

唁电

旧金山

桂靖博士治丧委员会：

惊悉中国人民的优秀儿子、东北大学的杰出学子、美国Seagate公司的卓越员工桂靖博士因病逝世。噩耗传来，我们十分震惊和悲痛！连日来，海内外很多东北大学校友，特别是熟悉桂靖的同学和老师纷纷致电东北大学校友总会，追忆与桂靖博士一起学习、一起工作和一起生活时的音容笑貌，我们大家都很想念他！值此，我们代表分布在世界各地的东北大学校友对桂靖校友的逝世表示最沉痛的哀悼！并对桂靖的爸爸、妈妈和亲友们表示深切的问候！希望你们不要太悲伤！一定要节哀顺变！

桂靖校友1978年乘着中国改革开放的春风从中国东南沿海的福建省以优异的成绩考入东北大学金属物理专业，在校期间，他不仅绝顶聪明，而且虚心好学，刻苦努力，发奋读书，精益求精，成绩优秀，深受老师和同学的爱戴。在东北大学六年的本科生和研究生的学习中，桂靖奠定了深厚的理论功底和超常的外语能力，为他毕业留校任教和后来出国深造奠定了坚实的基础。他用自己的实际行动践行着东北大学自强不息、知行合一的校训和献身、求实、团结、创新的优良校风，成为中国改革开放后第一批进入大学学习的年轻知识分子的佼佼者，成为能够让他的老师和在校学弟、学妹引为骄傲的典范。

桂靖校友出国以后，一直身在异国，怀念家乡，时刻关注母校东北大学的发展建设，经常保持与母校老师、同学的联系。他常说，一个母亲，一个母校，我们永远都不要忘记。如今的东北大学已经成为中国最著名的高等学府之一。桂靖在世的时候，一直想回到母校看望老师和同学，我们也一直盼望他荣归母校，可是，我们盼来的是他不幸病逝的噩耗.....

桂靖校友的英年早逝，是东北大学校友的重大损失！东北大学老师和同学失去了一位良师益友，东大校友失去了一位好兄弟。我们要化悲痛为力量，全体东大人齐心协力，为早日把东北大学建设成世界著名高等学府而奋斗！

桂靖校友安息吧！

东北大学校友总会

2009年1月6日于中国沈阳

ForJingFromNEU.doc

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Remember of my dad, Jing, from Dan

Jing Gui's Friends — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:57:00 GMT

This past Christmas, one of the gifts that I gave my dad was a pocket watch. On the pocket watch I had engraved this simple statement, “Dad, you will always be my hero.” And today, I still stand by that statement. My dad certainly meant a lot of different things to different people and everyone probably remembers him in a slightly different light. To some of you my dad was an intelligent researcher, a gifted engineer, and an enthusiastic coworker. To his friends from the gym my dad was an avid badminton player, who would frequently yell in excitement whether he hit a good shot or a terrible one. Many of you might remember him as a caring friend and to those of you who have spoken to him at length surely remember him as a great storyteller. To me personally, my dad was a loving father, a trusted mentor, a role model, a man of great courage, and one of the major pillars supporting my world. For all those reasons and more, most simply put, my dad was and is my hero.

Starting from when I was quite young I started considering my dad as my hero. For my fifth grade school district writing assessment the topic was to describe your personal hero. At the time, without the need for much deliberation I immediately started writing about my dad. I remember that essay was the only time on a school district writing assessment that I ever got the highest possible score. Needless to say, my dad particularly liked that essay. I remember that in that essay I noted that my dad was not particularly tall, particularly strong, or particularly good at sports. Indeed I remember pointing out that by most fifth grade standards he did not seem very much like the typical hero at all. But, nevertheless, to me he was undoubtedly my hero because he was helping me, guiding me, and seeming to know the answer to everything.

Perhaps every fifth grader believes that their dad is a genius, I certainly did. When I was young I was convinced that my dad was one of the smartest people in the world. I probably got that impression partially because he seemed to always know the answer to my questions, and also because to inspire me he always told me about how he was always number one in school, and always got the best possible grades. Whenever there was a homework problem I did not know how to do, my dad was always the first and last place I needed to ask for help. After I finished my homework, I always asked my dad to check it for me, and after he looked over it, I was always 100% confident that all my answers were unquestionably correct. As I got further into my schooling and started studying increasingly advanced subjects on very rare occasions I had questions that could stump him. Even after entering college, my dad was still generally my personal highest authority with regards to math and physics.

Most people when they become teenagers enter a rebellious phase, I was no different. However, whereas, when most people enter their rebellious phase they stereotypically believe that their parents “don’t know anything,” even when I was in my rebellious phase I was still convinced that my dad knew everything. His unquestionably firm grasp of calculus and physics, along with his ability to win any debate I ever had with him convinced me as much. Although in my teenage rebelliousness I did not always listen to his advice, I almost certainly knew in my heart that what he was saying was true.

Throughout my life, my dad has always been my greatest source of advice. I remember after the last time I gave a speech in front of everyone, my dad commented that he liked my speech but thought I spoke way too fast. So today, I have tried my best to speak a little slower. Throughout my life, I sought my dad’s advice both for important matters and not so important ones. It was with my dad’s advice that I decided which colleges to apply to, what classes to take in college, as well as what majors to choose. Frequently even when I knew exactly what I had to do, I would ask him for advice anyways just to hear him confirm what I already knew. When I did badly on a midterm, I would always feel much better after calling and talking to my dad. Every time this occurred my dad always advised me to learn from my mistakes, to not worry about the past, and focus on the future. Even before calling him, I would know that this would be the advice he would give, and yet, hearing him say it somehow always made the words make more sense and sound more reasonable.

Although frequently I could predict the advice he would give me, there were other times when his advice would come to me as quite a surprise. Before I started dating my current girlfriend I was unsure whether or not I should start a relationship. When I consulted my dad on this issue, I fully expected him to be quite conservative on the issue and tell me not to pursue a relationship. In fact, I retrospect I believe the reason I asked him at the time was to look for some sort of justification to avoid pursuing a relationship. However, on this occasion my dad like many other times in the past completely surprised me. Instead of giving me the expected conservative advice, he proved himself to be quite forward thinking and quite the romantic. He told me that feelings cannot be simply ignored or relegated to the backburner. He explained that what is meant to happen will happen and you should just listen to your heart and follow the flow of life. The fact that today I am still happily dating my girlfriend is a sign of my dad’s wisdom that day. Furthermore, to me it was another reminder that my dad never confined himself to one track of thinking, and he never said what he thought he was “supposed” to say, but rather always said what he believed to be right. Indeed, whether expected or not, the advice that my dad gave me always seemed to be the right answer.

One of the main reasons my dad has been my hero has always largely been because of his intelligence and his wisdom, and indeed wisdom is one of the traits which he also always valued most highly. One of his favorite quotes was the serenity prayer, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Whenever he talked about this quote he always stressed the final part of the quote regarding wisdom served as the crux of the quote, and in fact, he sometimes referred to the quote as the “wisdom” prayer. However, his love for the quote also critically hinged on the fact that in his wisdom he also knew that wisdom alone is insufficient. He knew and believed that only when wisdom is armed with serenity and courage is wisdom most valuable.

This past year and a half after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, my dad showed that he not only possessed wisdom, but that he also possessed a seemingly endless supply of serenity and courage. In this past year and a half my dad endured immense physical as well as emotional pain and suffering. He endured the acute physical pain of chemotherapy and intestinal obstructions. He endured persistent dull muscle aches and near constant fatigue. He dealt with the emotional loss of losing his wife and dealt with the prospect of never knowing how many days and weeks he would have left. And yet through it all my dad maintained a truly incredible level of optimism. Whenever he had the energy he would always chat with his friends and family with great enthusiasm. When he did not have the energy to chat he would always at least manage a smile. In the past year and half I have heard many people say how unfair it is for him to have to endure so much. Yet, I personally do not ever recall him once complaining that life was unfair to him. Indeed, on one occasion when my aunt lamented that life was unfair to him, he quickly responded that God is never unfair. My dad never fell to bitterness and managed to always try to make the most of everyday.

At the same time, although my dad accepted his disease and never questioned the fairness of it all, he also never simply gave up. He accepted that he had a very aggressive disease and that the prognosis was very poor, but he also did everything in his power to fight his cancer. At the time of his initial cancer diagnosis, the doctors believed that he would only have about two weeks to live, and that chemo would probably be useless. At the time some of the doctors recommended him to not even attempt chemo and simply try to spend his final days as comfortable as possible. However, my dad was not willing to simply give in. He chose chemo, and sought the most aggressive possible treatment for his disease. Over the course of the past year and half he had many ups and downs and on several occasions the doctors believed that there was nothing more that could be done, but dad always continued to fight and always outlived the doctors every expectation. In the hospital ward where he stayed the most often, my dad started to build a reputation among the doctors as a “fighter”, and whenever the doctors saw me they would always tell me how strong my dad was and how much of a “fighter” he was.

The final time that my dad was hospitalized, again the doctors said that he would only have about two weeks to live, but as before, my dad easily surpassed the doctor’s predictions. Two weeks became three weeks, and three weeks became four weeks. By week four of what was supposed to be his final two weeks, my dad’s condition became much worse and he was transferred to the intensive care unit. In the intensive care unit my dad’s condition started to deteriorate rapidly. While he was in the ICU my dad endured the most intense pain that he felt throughout the course of his disease. By the second day, in a meeting of three doctors, all three doctors unanimously felt that my dad would not make it through the night. However, night passed, and day came and my dad continued to fight. That day the doctor explained to me, there is very little medical reason to explain why your dad is still alive, he is alive because of his will and he has a very strong will. Despite the pain, despite the suffering, and despite the doctor’s frequent ominous predictions, my dad always had the courage to never give up, and literally fought until his last breath. On December 30^th, 2008 my dad passed away. In those last days, seeing the pain he was suffering, at and the same time also seeing the look in his eyes showing his absolute determination to fight I was reminded again and again why my dad is my greatest hero. And although, I know he would probably rather be remembered as my hero for his intelligence and wisdom I will also never forget his will and courage.

Thinking about the last year and half and how my dad endured arguably the greatest trial of his life, it seems absolutely fitting that his favorite quote happened to be the serenity, or as he would call it, the wisdom prayer. In this past year and a half, my dad showed that he not only loved the quote but also lived by it. Today, in trying to say goodbye to my dad remembering the serenity prayer also seems particularly appropriate. God grant us the serenity to accept the passing of my greatest hero and mentor, the courage to move on and continue to live with great joy, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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ForJIngFromDan.doc

Remember of Jing from friends in Singapor

Jing Gui's Friends — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:54:00 GMT

悼桂靖同学

惊闻桂靖同学不幸离世, 我们几个在新加坡生活工作的他在东大的老师同学和好友顿时陷入巨大的悲痛惋惜之中. 痛惜我们永远地失去了他这位聪颖, 睿智, 正直, 精明, 干练, 坚韧, 好胜, 成功, 热心, 慷慨, 好客, 帅气, 幽默的好同学好朋友!

我们远在地球的另一边，没法一同前来为桂靖同学送行，只能送去这一纸悼词，寄托我们的哀思。

桂靖是从东北大学出来的77 & 78届同学中方方面面最为出类拔萃的一位. 他那近乎门门满分的考试成绩曾给多少人留下难以企及的挑战; 他那整洁漂亮让人赏心悦目挑不出毛病的笔记作业, 曾让多少人羡慕崇拜! 他那胆大心细遇事不慌的作派和用坚韧不拔持之以恒的努力换来的成功曾是多少人教育孩子的楷模; 他那每次聚会中侃侃而谈鞭辟入理的时事分析曾给过我们多少裨益; 他那观看和参与体育运动时特有的高八度喝彩呼喊曾带给我们多少额外的兴奋与欢乐. 几年前他来新加坡时同我们在一起的谈笑风生依然历历在目。想不到现在天人永别, 昔日情景, 今后只能在回忆中再现!

天妒英才, 情何以堪! 此时此刻我们真真地感觉到了语言的匮乏, 找不到合适的话语完整表达我们的悲痛惋惜. 只能在心里默默祝愿我们的好友安宁安息.

桂靖同学，请一路走好!

齐国均,张善勇,李响, 杨振林, 刘云华, 李梅林, 程蕴玉

2009年1月6 日发自新加坡

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ForJingFromSingapore.doc

Hymn - Jing's Funeral

Jing Gui's Friends — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 01:24:00 GMT